Where are the Death Panels?

The Affordable Care Act

English: President Barack Obama's signature on...

English: President Barack Obama’s signature on the health insurance reform bill at the White House, March 23, 2010. The President signed the bill with 22 different pens. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This is the time of year when companies are rolling out their health care plans for the upcoming calendar year and my employer is no different.  Yes, I have a real job.  This column is just my occasional attempt at clever literary pieces or political satires bound to piss off my Republican friends.  After a few of my recent postings on facebook, I think I have less Republican friends, but I digress.  I received the 45 page booklet from the company that provides me with a desk, a phone, a computer and the opportunity to work in logistics and I am somewhat disappointed.  It seems that despite all of these pages they have left out a few of the provisions.

First and, I would think, most important is the failure to mention the Obamacare Death Panels.  Sarah Palin warned us about this and I think it is time we get a better explanation.  “The America I know and love is not one in which my parents or my baby with Down Syndrome will have to stand in front of Obama’s “death panel” so his bureaucrats can decide, based on a subjective judgment of their “level of productivity in society,” whether they are worthy of health care.”  I do not think Mrs. Palin had to stand in front of the committee, but I think it is high time that we are told who are on these panels just in case we are summoned.  Perhaps it is just another one of those little details the Democrats will announce at the eleventh hour, but it should certainly be detailed in our healthcare booklets.

Of course, we were probably not handed the actual healthcare plan our employers are providing under the law.  Maybe they do not want to let us know what is really in store for us.  The company actually had the nerve to send out a memo claiming that we already had plans that were compliant with the new laws so we could expect little change.  Who do they think they are kidding?  We have it on good authority that these laws are going to cause such major disruption to American business that we ought to plan for the meltdown now.  After all, we see how thousands more banks failed, gas went to 5 dollars a gallon and Texas left the union after Obama started his second term, so who knows what further disaster awaits us in 2014.

“No pre-existing conditions limits for all plan participants,” our booklets are taunting us on page 4.  I don’t have to be a Rhodes Scholar from Arkansas to see how that hurts business.  If people think they can get health insurance without worry of pre-existing conditions, what is to stop workers from changing jobs anytime they can find something better.  Is that fair to industry?  It is the fear of not being able to get insurance again that has kept people in their places, and if you do not have insurance now, what makes you think you should ever have it?  This Obamacare nonsense is clearly messing with the playing field.

“Medical Plan and Prescription Plan co-pays, co-insurance amounts and deductibles must count towards the medical plans annual out-of-pocket maximums.”  This is a sly attempt to confuse us with numbers.  At the present time my prescription plan co-pays do not count toward the out-of-pocket amount so there is nothing to be adding up.  As a person with multiple prescriptions I am certain that the evil government regulators know that the more things that count toward our out-of-pocket maximums, the more confused we will be, and the more confused we are, the more dependent we will be on big government to do our thinking.  It is a rather perverse method of mind control, don’t you think?

“No annual limits on essential health benefits” is also being teased to us on page 4.  I think you are beginning to see that they have crammed as much of the bad stuff as possible on to this page 4 in hopes that we would not notice, but we are too smart for insurance companies and HR people.  How can we possibly control the excess population if we are not going to limit benefits?  I truly believe that this goes right back to the Death Panels!  They will decide what are essential health benefits.  I sure hope they decide the way Sarah would.  You know the old saying, “What would Sarah do?”  After all, what is essential to Sarah might not be essential to the Death Panel.

There also seems to be vague references to the Gay Agenda pushed by liberal Democrats.  I am not sure if Obamacare includes this or not, but we seem to be covering partners or spouses “same-sex or opposite sex.”  It is as if these left-wing radical HR people think that all men are created equal.  I know a few gay boys who think that, but that doesn’t count for anything.  This so-called march of progress just needs to be reversed and I think that Sarah is just the guy to do it!

Our company has also not addressed the issue of lay-offs.  In fact, they are suggesting that quite the opposite is true.  We should be hiring more people in the coming year.  It is one thing to hold back on us, but quite another thing to be telling us lies.  I have been hearing for the last few weeks that Obamacare will be causing the loss of jobs at companies all across America.  I have it on good authority from credible sources like the Heritage Foundation, FOX News, Michele Bachmann, Ann Coulter, Ted Cruz, Glen Beck, Sean Hannity and others that many fine Americans will be unemployed because of this law.  I am not going to fall prey to the misleading reporting of the lefty rags like the Washington Post, LA Times, National Journal or even the NY Times or Wall Street Journal.  Perhaps our company is planning on having openings created by Obamacare and that might just go back to that Death Panel thing again.  As a person with some supposedly expensive prescriptions, I think I should be worried about these Death Panels.

Editors note:  Mrs. Palin does have a special needs child so that part of her example is certainly not hypothetical.  The Death Panel reference is another matter entirely.

2 thoughts on “Where are the Death Panels?

  1. This doesn’t change anything for we old people. More’s the pity.

    I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t pass muster at any death panel. I have no valid reason to keep living other than I prefer it to the alternative. Selfish of me, isn’t it.


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